Oh, Kim and Kanye West, shut up.

I’m not much of a celeb stalker. I’m THAT girl, the one you’re trying to tell a story to about a recent film you saw. You’ve gotten stuck on the name of the movie and now you’re referring to the actors in it so I can perhaps help think of the name and instead I’m looking at you like you’re from Mars.

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Anyway, one or two celeb stories that I did catch was the recent Kardashian/West wedding and Miley Cyrus’s performance at the VMAs last year. Quite frankly, I wish I could get back the time I spent reading about and watching the ludicrous behavior. But again, the story was so big how could you not get involved? And that’s where today’s blog entry comes in. But first here’s your TWEET- IT:

“The more you talk about it, the more power you give it.” Jack Johnson Jr

This applies to a whole lot in your life, not just to Justin Bieber’s antics or that outrageous Kardashian wedding.

Here are two examples (of which I have personally been guilty):

1) You broke up with someone, it’s four months later, and you’re still venting about it to all your friends every time you see them. This excludes your personal time of venting and revisiting the whole story over and over again in your head. You can’t let it go. You’re sour and heartbroken, and the replay of events drags you down even further.

2) A colleague at work treats you badly or is just really nasty to you all the time. You find yourself having imaginary arguments with that person outside of work. This leads to being even more annoyed with the colleague. Before long, you’re overly annoyed and can’t even stand being in the same room as that person.

Both of those scenarios give the situation more and more of your own personal power. I am not saying that venting is taboo. Venting, up to a certain point, is really good to get all the pent-up energy out of your system. There is, however, a point where it becomes too much and has a negative effect on you and your mindset.

By constantly being preoccupied with events that happened in the past, you’re:
– dragging yourself further into a pit of dark moods.
– giving the situation more power than it deserves.
– missing out on what is happening right here and right now in the present moment.

So how do you stop yourself from going there? Try today’s action steps:

Actionsteps1) Next time something upsets you, have a good venting session about it. Get it out of your system, and don’t stop until you feel better about it.

2) When you’re done with that, make a little pact with yourself that you will now no longer replay the situation unless you do so in that person’s presence.

3) Find a healthy, fun, or exciting activity you can do every time your mind starts to wonder to the unhealthy situation.

Let it go, and you’ll find your mind will follow.

What can you learn from a Toddler?

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Fear is the No. 1 killer of dreams and good plans. When I was 21, I decided to uproot my life in South Africa and move to England, a country I had never even visited. Within three months of making the decision, I had saved enough for the airfare, visa, and living expenses for a few weeks and still had NO JOB. With little to no fear, I just took the leap of faith and went.

Four years later, I decided to do the same thing: up and leave for the US to be with my boyfriend (who’s now my husband). This time around there was so much fear. It led to quite a few mini meltdowns and lots of tears. I wished then that I could turn back to my 21-year-old fearless self. Instead I battled worries like: “What if the relationship fails? What if I don’t like my job in the US? What if I never live in South Africa again?” These fears were constantly hounding me. They were causing so much more anxiety, loss of sleep, and doubt that I almost pulled the plug on the whole idea.

Luckily my life coach, friends, and family supported me and pushed me through all of this fear. I am so thankful they did and I went through with my plan. If I had let my doubts get the best of me, I wouldn’t be here doing what I love today. This is not to say it was all easy or not uncomfortable at times. Some of my worries did come true, but a solution always came, too. Most of the fears didn’t materialize and things beyond my wildest dreams went right. Doors opened and so many opportunities presented themselves.

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I know I am not alone in my journey. We all have this built-in fear. We are taught from a young age that failure is BAD. It’s embarrassing and shameful. This causes us all to desire living perfect little lives with only perfect achievements in them. Fear cripples our creativity and keeps us from having rich learning experiences that can lead to even fuller lives.

The truth is, we learn best from failure! Even Sir Richard Branson, the successful British executive, agrees: “The key to bouncing back is to learn whatever lessons you can from the experience so that you can avoid making the same mistakes in the next launch. This will help you to overcome your fear, take a leap of faith, and try again.”

That’s exactly what you can learn from toddlers. They get up and fall over and over again without fear. They don’t stay up late to read manuals on how to take the perfect first steps. They just do it, fail and do it again. And with it, they learn a lot and they learn very quickly.

Don’t let fear cripple you. Overcome them by doing today’s action steps.

ActionstepsHere are some key questions to address:
1) What is your biggest dream?
2) What is your biggest fear surrounding that dream?
3) What is worst thing that could happen should that fear come true?
4) Are you really going to let this anxiety get the best of you?
5) Are you going to let it hold you back from accomplishing your dream and the profound learning experience it could provide?

 

If you enjoyed this blog and found it helpful, please share it with the social butterfly below! 

 

Would you like to win a FREE Coaching session, one of my Pilates DVDs and a complimentary Pilates class? Check out my facebook lucky draw! You can be anywhere in the world and still enter. I do coaching sessions via Skype and you’ll receive another DVD in place of the class.
 

Move Up or Get Out!

I am excited to share and discuss today’s topic with you. I have personally stepped in a few of these potholes and have seen others do it too!

You decide it’s time to move on to the next level and start looking for a new job. At first the process is exciting!  But after a few applications and a few good days at your current position, you’re not sure if you want to move. And let’s be honest: the application process is such a drag.

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Looking for a new job is  time consuming and can be very draining. Then there’s also that little voice that says: “What if my next job is just as bad as this one?” This little voice won in my last corporate job application, when I started my job search in Boston I thought to myself: “Well maybe it was just that the culture and people of my previous company was not for me, I mean the job was kinda ok? Right?” …. so without really being clear on what I wanted to get out of my job personally and professionally I applied to jobs. It wasn’t long before I landed an Institutional sales job.

I was thrilled to have found something in the then still really bad economy. Probably 2 weeks into my new position I knew I had made a mistake. I could not have asked for more amazing people to work for and with. I absolutely loved working with them, unfortunately the actual work I was doing did not interest me one bit. The result – I resigned after just one year and was back in the same job seeking boat.

So how can you avoid getting yourself into these situations?

Today’s Action Steps will show you how. BE CRYSTAL CLEAR and write the following down:

Actionsteps

1) Look at your current work position: what do you enjoy about your job? What don’t you enjoy?

2) What kind of work-life-balance are you looking for?

3) In 5 years from now where would you like to be in your career? What is your ultimate career goal?

4) Gather a few tactful questions that will help you get more clarity of the new company’s environment.  Ask them in your next interview.

Remember: An interview is equal playing ground: you only want the job offer if it’s the right fit for you. During the interview you’re deciding whether you want to pick them just as much as they’re deciding whether you’re the right fit for them.

Tweet this: Being clear on what you want avoids confusion and gets you to your goal quicker!

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Urgh Facebook you annoy me!

Today’s blog  seemed a relevant topic as I have been in many conversations lately where people started talking about negative experiences with certain facebook “friends”.

The story goes a little like this: You just arrived home after a long day and after dinner you sit down to relax and decide to hop on facebook for a little relaxation. 10 minutes scrolling down your newsfeed you feel more annoyed, anxious and down than when you started.

We all have them: the “my life is so amazing” posting friends, the debbie-downer friend with ” what a bad day, my life sucks”.  All of these have us thinking: Maybe I should give up my facebook account. You’re hesitant though because you do have quite a few friends that live far away whom you’d like to keep in touch with. Maybe you also run your business on facebook. So what do you need to do to improve your facebook experience and use it to positively impact your life? The secret’s in today’s Action Steps! 

ActionstepThe secret’s in today’s Action Steps!

1) Hide all friends with comments that bring up negative feelings in you:
Out of sight out of mind! You’ll still be able to check in with your friend when you want to know how they are, but at least you won’t have to get down when they start bragging, complaining or give you their real life drama.

2) Delete the long lost, nothing in common acquaintance:
If you have a whole lot of people whom you’ve totally lost contact with or never really build a friendship to start with with and no longer wish to have in your life, cut the ties: unfriend them. Is this rude? No, if someone no longer have a positive influence in your life, you both don’t support each other on any real level then spring cleaning your friend’s list is completely justified. Maybe even consider putting all your professional acquaintances on LinkedIn and take them off your facebook account, this way you can separate business from pleasure.

3) Keep in mind Facebook is NOT REAL LIFE!
Think about it, when do you mostly share stuff on facebook? Definitely more when things are great. When you’re at a party and dressed to kill, when you are on vacation at an exotic location or on the beach and doing something fun. Is this your EVERY DAY life experience? Nope. Other people do exactly the same. Stop comparing your life to others and realize that we are all unique and have our own exciting and less exciting experiences, be grateful for what you have and realize that you are so much more than just your facebook account.

Welcome to my new site: I hope you enjoy your visit!

Good Morning!!

I am so excited to announce that Pilates with Hanneke is diversifying and rebranding! I am thrilled to show you my new site that’s been in design and construction mode for the last 6 months! And now it’s finally here and you’re one of the very first people to see it!!

What this means and how it will benefit you:

With the brand diversification you’ll now be able to get fit and healthy with PilateswithHanneke.com where I strive to provide you with the best workouts, classes and workshops to enjoy and get your body in the best shape!

My mission with HannekeAntonelli.com is to help you figure out exactly what you want and how to get it! You’ll get weekly tips to help you create your dream life along with Pilates Pop-up event updates and more!

Please also note that my facebook page will be changing to Hanneke Antonelli within the next few weeks. You’ll still get updates on my weekly Pilates schedule along with some inspiration to keep you on track to get what you want in life.

Intagram, twitter and the rest will stay as is with the handle @pilateswhanneke and will make sure that you also get my informal fun updates.

I look forward to your comments, feedback and requests – keep them coming! If you’re as excited as I am – please share this site and page with your friends!