Kelly Clarkson’s coaching tips.

So I was driving to class the other night and Kelly Clarkson’s song “Stronger” came up on the radio. Nothing better than turning the volume way up and singing along at the top of your lungs. Even better was that the words to the song inspired this post.

Kelly Clarkson: Stronger

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself, and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

 

Yes, this song is ultimately about a breakup. But there are also two powerful lessons to apply to life in general:

 

1) “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
Letting go of people who don’t serve you in a positive way is crucial to moving onward and upward. So is shedding things that don’t help you attain your ultimate goal. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt a little or be difficult. Remember: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller.” You want to look at the bigger picture and your longer-term goals.

 

2) “Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone”
Society puts a strange amount of pressure on never being alone: You’re supposed to be in a couple or always with friends. On a subconscious level this feeds into our brains and inner selves. Which makes us think being alone is either embarrassing or bad for you.

 

But the famous line that “you can’t give love if you don’t love yourself” bears more truth than you might realize. You were put on this earth as a perfect little package. You already have everything you need to survive within you, to guide you and help you get what you want out of life. I like to refer to this as your inner wisdom.

 

All the other friendships and connections are icing on the cake, helping you to be an even happier person. But if you’re only latching on to everything and everyone else outside of yourself to find your happiness, you’re in for a huge disappointment. Your happiness starts inside yourself: “Just me, myself, and I.”

Actionsteps

In today’s Action Steps, learn how to love your own company.

 

1) Take yourself to lunch, dinner, a movie, or whatever you enjoy. Appreciate the “you” time.

 

2) Make a list of all your good qualities and give yourself a high five for being a fun and loving person.

3) Who or what are the negative pitfalls that keep you from achieving your goals? Spend less time and energy or avoid these altogether.
 
I have a special announcement for next week’s newsletter, so be sure to get your friends to sign up for my newsletter and share in the excitement. Enjoy the last little bit of summer!

 

 

Only 3 people should know how crazy you are.

 

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“There are only 3 people who should know exactly how crazy you are.” Is what a friend told me recently. My friend is so right!

These 3 lucky winners are:
1) Your Mom,
2) Your Best Friend,
3) Your partner/husband.

For the rest of the world you have to do your best to pull it together! Sure – we all have our moments:
– Tantrums where we kick and scream like a 3 year old because someone got something we wanted.
– Our over the top meltdown because something didn’t go the way we wanted it too.

But think about it, when have you ever felt amazing about yourself when you:
–  sent a totally out of line and nasty text to someone?
–  started playing the comparing game with someone on facebook. This resulted in some obsessive behavior, which led to you leaving a ridiculous message on that someone’s feed.

Urm like NEVER. Normally you just feel utterly stupid and foolish for overreacting.

The key is to give your crazy a little play time, before it jumps out and cause drama. Don’t keep it in or try to suppress it. Simply let your crazy be.

Ah, let’s tweet that: Don’t suppress your crazy, just let your crazy be

Simply:

Actionsteps 1) Breath.
2) Talk about what’s bugging you with your mom, your best friend or your partner. Even if you think what’s bugging you is ridiculous and silly. The people who love you will understand and help you get over it.
3) Do some Yoga!

Focus on living a life where you are acting on what happens to you, rather than reacting and defending against it.

You are what you eat – I mean, think!

Yes, essentially you are what you do in all aspects of your life: drink, eat, say, and, as we will discuss today, think. It is a fact that you cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. Normally when you start your day off on a negative note, your day will rarely end on a positive one.
 

Let’s take a closer look. What you think probably influenced:
— what you chose to wear this morning
— what you decided to eat (negative-thinking comfort food versus happy-minded health food)
— and how you’ve treated every person who crosses your path.

 

Which brings us to today’s Tweet-It:

 

 

Did you tweet it?  Just double tap the link. Awesome! Let’s continue: Yes, what you focus on literally expands into every dimension of your life. That means if you keep thinking negative thoughts, you’ll always end up with the same results.

 

When I first learned of this concept in one of my sessions with my life coach, Shirley, I had a mini panic attack. I believe her exact words were: “Tell me what’s going on in your life. I normally find that whatever’s happening in your life is happening in your mind, too.”

 

I had a little freak-out because I didn’t realize I had a choice in what I wanted to think. So in my head, I thought: “Oh, shoot, I am totally in trouble.” (As you can see, my head was already in a negative place.)

 

You might be thinking the same thing: “But thoughts just pop up randomly in my head, and I don’t have control over them. And life happens at random, too.” Nope. You have power over what you choose to think or at least what thoughts you choose to believe.

 

So how do you turn your mind into a positive one? Follow today’s action steps:

 

Actionsteps1) Become aware of what you’re thinking. Try not to judge the thoughts; just let them be.

 

2) Ask yourself: How is what I am thinking right now serving me? In other words, are you being the positive, optimistic person you strive to be? Are your thoughts helping you to accomplish your goals?

 

3) If that last answer is “no,” then shift your focus and attention to thoughts you know are 100 percent true and comforting. Start to think of tasks and goals you need to get done today.

 

4) If the negative thoughts still haunt you, be social. Plan something with a friend or with family and make a pact to avoid unpleasant topics. Focus exclusively on good thoughts.

 

5) Go to the gym. By moving, sweating, and getting your mind busy with something else, you’re bound to lift your spirits.

 

Although this is not easy, it can be done. The key is to become aware of your actions. From there, it becomes easier to move on from negative thinking.

 

xo
Hanneke

 

 

 

Everyone’s fighting a battle you know nothing about.

What I love about coaching is how much I learn from my clients and how amazing their progress really is. The stories that they bring me, their challenges, their wins and how they become more and more aware. How they implement the skills I help them uncover. How they learn to put these new skills into action in our sessions and in their lives is something truly powerful and sometimes even magical.
Quotation-Wendy-Mass-kindness-fighting-Meetville-Quotes-226609

In today’s blog I’d like to share one of these with you. (Please note that permission to share this story was obtained beforehand. All my sessions are strictly confidential, unless otherwise authorised by the client.)

 

A few weeks ago when one of my clients walked in, I could physically feel the weight of what she had been through since our previous meeting enter the room with her. She had had a really rough couple of weeks. Her old, pre-life coached, self would have crumbled under everything she had to deal with. However she used all the new skills in her toolbox to beat back every curve ball that life had threw at her. One of the overwhelming events was her apartment almost burning down! This resulted in her having to lug almost all of her stuff to the dry cleaners for cleaning and storage.

 

On one of her many rushed trips to the laundromat the owner pulled her aside. He started to thank her and told her how she had saved his business.

 

Her loss had been his gain. He had had cancer a little while ago and the manager who looked after his shop ran the place into the ground. If it hadn’t been for her bringing in all her stuff he would have lost his business.

 

Although what had happened to my client was not pleasant, to say the least, she became more aware of the bigger picture. His words gave her the extra bit of motivation she needed to see her misfortune with new perspective. She experienced first hand how her actions had a ripple effect, even if she couldn’t see it. That doesn’t mean the experience didn’t suck, or that she had to put a happy face on it. She just started to realize how lucky she was in the grand scheme of things and how much she had to be grateful for… As my client finished her story we were both teary eyed.

 

ActionstepsAction Steps:

1) We often act like we are the center of the universe. And that our problems are the worst and biggest. Take a moment to notice and be kind to strangers around you, realize that just like yourself, they also have their own battles that they’re fighting.

2) Don’t take it all so personally. How strangers act and react towards you, almost always has nothing to do with you.

3) Then take another moment to reflect on everything you have that you are fortunate enough to have.

 

Realize that you can make or break someone’s day without even knowing you’re doing it. Always try to be the best version of yourself, you never know what impact you can have.