Rebranding tips & rising from newbie to expert

In this bonus episode, Kristin Thomas – health coach and marketing guru, talk all things rebranding and rising from newbie to expert in no time!

 
Enjoy the podcast:

 

 

Kristin Thomas is not only highly trained in Functional Health Practices, she has lived through chronic illness and reversed her own ulcerative colitis and other health challenges such as leaky gut, food sensitivities, hormone imbalance & a half dozen gut infections. As the Founder of Thrive by Food, she is a certified Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner and Holistic Health Coach with additional training in digestive health, hormone balancing, SIBO, thyroid conditions, detoxification, and stealth infectious disease. She helps clients determine what lab tests will best illuminate why they feel sick and what actions to take to feel better. She then guides them toward better health by eliminating the factors creating the loss of function, putting meaningful lifestyle interventions in place, homing in on the right diet, and working to unblock the physical and emotional factors that led to poor health. Kristin’s clients say that when they work with her, they feel truly understood, truly heard (often for the first time in their life), that she is compassionate and provides her clients with the answers they are so desperately seeking.

Download your CEO Power Sheet Below
Incorporate this sheet into your weekly CEO meeting and make the little adjustments that will result in massive success!

{Bonus Podcast Episode} Overcoming Self-Doubt w/ guest Louisa Jewell, MAPP

Overcoming Self-Doubt: I had so much fun speaking with Louisa about this topic. And she had so many amazing great nuggets of wisdom to help overcome self-doubt.

So hop on over to today’s Bonus Episode of the Savvy Business Show, where I speak with Canada’s leading positive psychology expert, Louisa Jewell about overcoming self-doubt!

Have a listen here:

 

louisa-jewell-headshot-pt2-HIRES--3 croppedLouisa Jewell is a speaker, author and positive psychology expert who has spoken to over 50,000 people around the world about how to flourish both at work and in their personal lives. Louisa is the Founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association (www.cppa.ca) an organization dedicated to improving the mental health of all Canadians. Louisa is a graduate of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania and is a professor at the University of Texas. Her work has been featured in Forbes, The Globe and Mail, Huffington Post, Canadian Living Magazine, Live Happy Magazine, CHCH TV, to name a few. Her best-selling book Wire your Brain for Confidence; The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt was released in September, 2017. Visit her website here.
Download your CEO Power Sheet Below
Incorporate this sheet into your weekly CEO meeting and make the little adjustments that will result in massive success!

Three Steps to Up-level Your Business!

Up-level: Remember the episode on what a year it’s been in my business as I’ve massively up-leveled? Well, evidently that’s what I’ve been helping many of my private clients to do in their businesses too.

And in today’s episode, I’ll break down the process to help you up-level in your business too! It’s been incredible to witness the expansion that happened with my private clients this year.  All of them were in crazy up-level mode, some of them went from being in freelancer mindset to full-blown business owners with brick and mortars, while others opened more locations upping their revenue to produce in one week what used to take them a month to do. And also in the mix, we worked to hire the right staff members, streamlined their own workload etc. And what I loved most was all the variety!

My clients are mostly service-based entrepreneurs with small to medium size businesses, some of them with revenues in the million mark. So they all have different obstacles and challenges.

In today’s episode, I’ll break down the process to help you up-level in your business too!

Want to up-level your business with the help and support of a dynamic community of savvy business women?

Click here to learn more about the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind and the exclusive offer when you enroll before Oct 31! This community will help you create a business that will give you financial freedom and flexibility to do what you want when you want to do it! Hop on over to get the DL now!

Now I’d love to hear from you!
Please leave us a review on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts 🙂
And tell me below: What are your favorite self-care rituals? How do you prioritize it? What is one aha that you got from today’s episode?

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Find more joy in your journey to success

How often do you hear yourself say: one day when then I will  

When we do this we’re putting off having fun, enjoying the journey until the future.

And as entrepreneurs we seem can get so focused on achieving our future success that we completely forget to also have fun in this moment while we’re on our way to achieving crazy success!

In today’s episode, I share a few strategies to help you live your best life starting right now!

AND remember to stay tuned for a very special announcement and exclusive offer to join the Savvy Business Accelerator coming Oct 15th, hop on over here to get the DL and get yourself on the wait list too!


Now I’d love to hear from you!
Please leave us a review on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts 🙂
And tell me below: What are your favorite self-care rituals? How do you prioritize it? What is one aha that you got from today’s episode?

 

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

{Podcast} How to up-level your mindset for success w/ Suzy Ashworth

In this special bonus episode of the Savvy Business Show, we speak to one of my favorite coaches, Suzy Ashworth, on how to up-level your mindset for success!

Dive right into it now and get all the tips and strategies to set yourself up for success!

 

 

Suzy Ashworth is a mindset and messaging coach, Hay House author, TEDx Speaker and founder of The Calm Birth School, the world’s first video based hypnobirthing program. As a mindset mentor, Suzy supports women through her flagship program The Limitless Life Experience to work with more intention, to create more impact and income in the world.

 

And if you’re currently looking to expand your business in a sustainable and savvy way, be sure to check out private coaching with me or join us in the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind program.

Download your CEO Power Sheet Below
Incorporate this sheet into your weekly CEO meeting and make the little adjustments that will result in massive success!

{PODCAST} Your Mindset: The real work that will determine business success!

In today’s episode let’s cover the REAL work that’s going to give you the success you want to see in your business: YOUR MINDSET.

For the longest time, I was obsessed with implementing all the strategies into my business. I did everything under the sun to get my business to grow faster. I pushed and worked so freaking hard. I literally put blood, sweat, and tears into my business…

And it felt… exhausting. I would constantly be panicked about where the next client would come from – how I would pay the bills next month. And what strategies would I have to implement next? Things on my to-do list became stuff to check off a list vs passion filled project that was exciting to tackle.

It’s right then and there that I realized that I had forgotten and neglected the most important work of all when running a business: working on your mindset!

I see a lot of entrepreneurs skip this, or think it’s woo woo. But here’s the thing – growing a business will bring all of your insecurities, doubts, etc to the surface. And in order to combat the havoc that this can cause in your life and business, you have to deeply commit to your own personal development as a person.

Download your mindset hacks PDF here.

Now I’d love to hear from you!
Please leave us a review on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts 🙂
And tell me below: What are your favorite self-care rituals? How do you prioritize it? What is one aha that you got from today’s episode?

AND remember to stay tuned for a very special announcement and exclusive offer to join the Savvy Business Accelerator coming Oct 15th, hop on over here to get the DL and get yourself on the wait list too!

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Two things successful people do (and you should too!)

How often do you revisit, focus, and adjust your goals? How often do you get to brainstorm your business ideas? Successful business people do this regularly (some even do it daily!). Successful people plan and set goals, and they revisit those objectives often, they readjust them and keep their eyes on the prize! This helps them to stay focused and take action consistently!

But that’s not all they do.

Successful people connect and collaborate with other savvy colleagues.

They have a community of like-minded people who they can tap for constructive feedback, ideas, resources, and more, whenever they need it. And when you have this kind of support, it helps you stay accountable and leap forward, and accomplish goals that are in alignment with you and your bigger vision.

Do you hold a regular meeting with yourself to revisit your goals? I’ve created a CEO Power Sheet for you that will help you make the small adjustments in your business that will reap the significant results. Use this power sheet in your weekly meeting with yourself to keep you focused and consistent in your action.
Do you have a community of like-minded business people? Having a group of business people to help you grow your company is super important. These are colleagues whom you can tap for advice, resources, connections, and referrals beyond your own networks. Your family and friends won’t be able to give you objective feedback, especially if they’re not entrepreneurs themselves. If you don’t have a community like this – then be sure to check out the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind Program, where savvy like-minded women are building immense success!
x Hanneke

Wanna make time your friend?

Do you feel like you’re always at war with time?

Like there just never is enough of it?

No matter how hard you work, you never get it all done!?

Running a business, your family, and your life takes SO. MUCH. TIME.

Yet, there are people out there who make it all look so easy, they’re never rushed, they’re always at the gym, or getting a mani-pedi!

How in the heck are they doing it?

Here’s what other successful people who ALWAYS look rested do to get everything done:
  1. They prioritize EVERYTHING on their to-do list
  2. They know that the list will never all be done (and they are ok with it)
  3. They outsource and delegate everything that is not in their zone of genius
  4. They hire the right team to support them in their business and life

To accomplish all of the above you need to overcome the biggest mental block that everyone has about this and you need to make a commitment to yourself to follow-through to create more space and time for yourself.

And that’s where the Savvy Business Accelerator becomes invaluable. We dive deep on helping you strategize the above and we hold our fellow members accountable to work smarter and efficiently.

It’s not something that comes naturally – this is a skill that you have to get good at and your mastermind buddies will help you conquer it!

The techniques you learn will save you loads of time because you won’t continue to do it ALL yourself. And you won’t have to figure out how to do it either.

Your mastermind buddies will brainstorm and share all their wisdom with you and help you run your business like a savvy CEO!

Sounds like just what you need?

Mark your Calendar: Enrollment to the Savvy Business Accelerator mastermind opens Oct 15th, stay tuned for an EXCLUSIVE offer!

Happy Friday,

x Hanneke

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Self-care: Why it’s important for your business growth!

The first thing I see entrepreneurs throw out the door is self-care: meaning they don’t take care of themselves. They leave it as the last possible thing of the list of things to do – and so they hardly ever get to it. And I get it because how in the heck with only 24 hours in a day are you suppose to get to the gym, have enough time to sleep, etc.

But not making time for the things that rejuvenate you is actually the worst thing you can do for yourself and your business!

In today’s episode, we talk about everything self-care:

  1. How to make it a priority without feeling guilty
  2. We look at what counts as self-care, and
  3. Why it’s important for your business’ growth.

Watch the IG Story I refer to here.

Now I’d love to hear from you!
Please leave us a review on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts 🙂
And tell me below: What are your favorite self-care rituals? How do you prioritize it? What is one aha that you got from today’s episode?

AND remember to stay tuned for a very special announcement and exclusive offer to join the Savvy Business Accelerator coming Oct 15th, hop on over here to get the DL and get yourself on the wait list too!

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

The real reason you’re not as successful as you’d like to be!

Happy Monday!

Do you find yourself feeling behind in your life and business? Somehow you’re still struggling to hit that business goal you set five years ago!? And you still don’t feel like a bada$$ boss – more like an overworked workhorse.

You go to networking events, and when speaking about your business, you feel like an imposter (or just super conscious) while standing next to this super successful, and confident, savvy entrepreneur who sounds so much more accomplished and put together than you do…

On your way home, you open Instagram where you see other entrepreneurs with the most perfect feeds, achieving ALL.THE.BIG successful things you wish you could (while looking so rested), and you wonder to yourself:

How in the heck did they do that, so fast?

What am I doing wrong here?

But here’s what you are forgetting: Meeting people for five minutes and seeing their Instagram feeds only share a tiny part of the REAL story – it’s just a highlight real, the little tip of the iceberg of what’s really going on behind the scenes.

Behind the scenes:

Everyone experience setbacks, tech issues, have meltdowns, lose clients!

Everyone’s struggling to manage their time better, hire the right people, and more!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And there is NOTHING wrong with you!

The only thing that’s missing and keeping you from ALSO being massively successful, and rising strongly is that you haven’t yet got up close and personal with other people’s success!

That’s why I love the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind so freaking much! In there we pull back the curtain on the highlight real on everyone’s businesses.

And you know what happens when we do that?

Seeing others’ success and knowing the back story of how messy it was to get there inspires you to take massive action in your business too (even when you fear you may fail).

And even if you don’t fully believe that you can be, do, and have ALL THAT SUCCESS. The group will hold you in that belief – until you’re ready to believe in yourself!

And THAT my dear is the MOST empowering and motivating thing you can ever give yourself and your business! And how you achieve massive success – fast!

So, if you’re ready to surround yourself and your business with this kind of support, then I’ve got something extraordinary to share! On Oct 15th – I’ll be releasing an exclusive offer to join the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind – hop on over to learn more about the program now! And keep your eyes peeled as I’ll be dropping more information as we approach the date.

x Hanneke

 

Podcast 005: Become a Savvy CEO

In today’s podcast episode of the Savvy Business Show, it’s all about becoming a Savvy CEO.

We look at the internal shifts and external actions that need to happen in order to help you focus on the bigger vision of your business and support your team to get there.

Listen to it now and become a Savvy CEO:

 

And if you’re currently looking to expand your business in a sustainable and savvy way, be sure to check out private coaching with me or join us in the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind program.

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Podcast 004: Up-leveling in your business

Up-leveling YOUR business

Things in my business may look very rosy from the outside. But to be honest – for most of this year, I’ve been feeling way uncomfortable. You see I’ve been in an up-leveling spurt. Up-leveling in business means breaking through to the next level. And that my friends, come with a lot of growth (emotional and business growth that is) – while feeling super uncomfortable, constantly fighting the urge to just pack it in and go do something different, or hide in a little ball and stay small. But as a coach I’m committed to becoming the best version of me, to build a hugely successful business, so I can serve my clients at the highest level and help them to push to their unlimited potential too and grow their companies exponentially.

 

 

You know you’re up leveling when:
  • You’re making massive adjustments in your business
  • You’re experiencing personal and business growth (and note the business growth here is the behind the scenes business adjustments that lead to increased profits)
  • And all the while it’s feeling super out of your comfort zone awkward

And if you’re currently looking to expand your business in a sustainable and savvy way, be sure to check out private coaching with me or join us in the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind program.

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Podcast 003: #BlogHer18 Recap

BlogHer18: What an amazing line up this was! 

In today’s podcast episode I give all the best AHAs, tips, and takeaways I received from the speakers at the BlogHer18 conference.

 

 
The BlogHer18 conference was held in NYC’s downtown gorgeous Pier 17 building. And had about 1000-ish attendees. I was so excited to attend the event with some other friends.

The BlogHer18 line-up included:

Gabrielle Union

Marie Forleo – total girl crush on this lady!

Uzo Aduba from “Orange is the new black”

Brooklyn Decker from “Grace & Frankie” – when’s the next season starting by the way?

Tiffanie Thiessen form “90210”

Jessica Alba

and even Amy Schumer made a surprise guest appearance!

Needless to say that these women were super inspiring and gave quite a few great tips on running a successful business.

Although this was a fantastic event I’m not sure if I’ll go again just because things were kept very high level.

There were a lot of speakers – almost too many which made it difficult to really dive deep on any one topic. So if you’re hoping to go in future – I’d just make sure that you know exactly what your objectives are and what you’d like to get from the conference.

I did meet some very interesting people which is always wonderful.

The overall theme to creating amazing content was most definitely: Be completely yourself + be consistent and create quality content!

Be sure to grab your CEO Power Sheet here and use it in your weekly CEO meeting to make those small adjustments that will give thriving results in your business:

And if you’re currently looking to expand your business in a sustainable and savvy way, be sure to check out private coaching with me or join us in the Savvy Business Accelerator Mastermind program.

Download your CEO Power Sheet now and make those little adjustments that will result in big thriving results!

Podcast 002: What you focus on expands

Focus: What you focus on expands

In today’s episode, I share how my own focus at a recent conference almost turned into a huge waste of time and money and how my focus snafu can help you shift your perspective to create success in your business and life faster.

Listen to it now and remember to subscribe and leave a rating/review if you enjoyed the episode xo

Subscribe on iTunes

Successful people CHOOSE to focus on POSSIBILITY vs the fear and the doom and gloom.

Note they’re not ignoring it

Or smacking a happy face on reality or stats

However, they are always focused on creating a SOLUTION. They ask: How can I fix it and make it better mode. They are in Possibility mindset. And that’s how they get so much done!

So how do you get here?

Here’s how:

  • Become aware of what you’re focused on and decide to shift it
  • Get clear on the outcome – what do you want to happen?
  • Focus on actions and solutions that will get you to that outcome!

Now I’d love to hear from you: how do you shift your perspective? Or what was your biggest aha about today’s episode? 

Enjoyed the podcast? Listen to Episode 001 here.

 

The Savvy Business Podcast has arrived! Listen now – Limiting stories

If you’ve been following me over on Instagram – you know how freaking excited I am to be announcing this today!

I’ve been creating content since 2014 now, and have tried various platforms over the years. At the beginning of the year, I started getting some strong tugs to start a podcast.

At first, I ignored it – but the thought kept coming back. And then I finally gave in. Even after buying the mic a few months ago, I still dragged my feet a little. But then the episode I’m about to share about limiting stories came to me and as soon as I recorded it, I was totally hooked!

Next, I had to come up with an intro, I had somewhat of an idea, and after getting some friends and clients to help and picking a song that represented my brand best, my husband Robert Antonelli from Antonelli Visual Media brought the intro and outro to life!

And now I’m soooo excited to share my very first Podcast episode with you!

(You can subscribe to the podcast right from the blog, simply click the first icon that looks like the wifi sign on its side next to the time tracker at the bottom of the Lipsyn player)

May you enjoy it (as much as I enjoyed writing, recording it!) You can read more about the content of the podcast below.

Thank you in advance for sharing this episode with others and if you like the episode, please do leave me a review on iTunes, GooglePlay or wherever you get your podcasts from.

And I also have to thank Caroline Hull from Caroline Creates for helping me set up the backend of this podcast! Thank you so much, Caroline.

Hanneke

Limiting stories and beliefs:

They say that you should do something that scares you every day, well right now I’m sweating bullets. You see I still have a slight dose of stage fright. (this was a story I clung to for years and years…)

In this episode, I’ll tell you how I finally overcame this limiting story! I’ll also dive into these limiting beliefs and stories that we or others impose on ourselves, where they come from, what they’re costing us and of course, share the tips to overcome them!

 

Tips on overcoming and rewriting these limiting beliefs: 

  1. Know what your story and excuse are and give yourself permission to let go of it.
  2. Flip the script or get a mantra: say your story is I’m not smart enough to do X, then flip the script on it: every time you think that thought: I’m not smart enough: flip it so I’m smart enough
  3. Mind your language: stop saying it out loud. Back to our example: stop saying “I’m not smart enough” or repeating anything that’s self-deprecating to others PERIOD.
  4. Look for the evidence of when you are doing something smart in your life and business and celebrate that.

Remember this takes practice – chances are you’ve been telling yourself this story for a very long time. SO be patient with yourself, treat yourself with love and kindness and know – just like weight loss and getting fit, it takes showing up and being consistent every day! Practice your new story every day and soon you’ll transform your life and business!

Now, I’d LOVE to hear from you! What’s a story or belief that you’d like to let go of? Or have you overcome a limiting belief recently? What was it and how did you do it?

If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to share it with a friend and write a review for me – thank you!

Cash Flow is Queen

 

 

In today’s episode of the Savvy Business Show, we speak with Sarah Webb, president of  Plaid for Women about all things cash flow and why it’s important for your business.

In this episode we cover:

  1. What Cash flow is.
  2. Why cash flow is key to building a successful business.
  3. What you can do to improve your cash flow.

We also learn more about Sarah’s #NoMeanGirls campaign and the No Mean Girls Conference happening on September 21st and 22nd.

 

Be sure to ask us your Cash Flow Questions below! Or tell us what your biggest aha was of today’s episode.

 

Sarah is the President of Plaid for Women, Inc. a multimedia company providing content, podcasts and short-form videos for women.www.plaidforwomen.com Plaid for Women is also behind the #NoMeanGirls Movement, encouraging women to respect themselves and support other women on their own journeys without judgment.  With her experience as a CPA, Sarah is very passionate about helping women build financial freedom.  This includes helping women get rid of debt, structuring a small business that fits their life and creating opportunities to build wealth.

 

 

 

Download your CEO Power Sheet Today

Make the little adjustments in your business that will lead to the BIG results and success!

How to avoid burnout with Chris Vasiliadis

Watch the Savvy Business Show and learn all about burnout and more importantly what the signs of it are and how to avoid it:

As busy entrepreneurs, it’s so important for us to know exactly what to do to make sure we don’t burn out because as I always say: Without YOU there will be no business.

So I decided to invite my friend and health and wellness coach, Chris Vasiliades, to be a guest on the Savvy Business Show. We dove deep into the topic of burnout, what it is, how you can avoid it and more.

 

Please feel free to ask us your questions in the comments below!

The Savvy Business Show with my guest Chris Vasiliadis

CVasiladis WebChris believes that prioritizing your well-being is the secret weapon to being engaged in and successfully leading your work and non-work life. Choosing to thrive with multiple sclerosis indirectly led Chris to becoming trained and Nationally Board Certified as a Health & Wellness Coach. Remaining relapse-free for over a decade, her intention is to help as many people as possible create and maintain their best health. Chris created her business, Priority Wellness, to serve those who are tired of putting their health on the back burner, concerned about burnout, or who are unhappy with their current state of wellness.  Through speaking and coaching in a variety of settings since 2008, she has helped hundreds of individuals make lifestyle changes that energize their health, enabling them to vibrantly perform and focus on what matters most.
Download your CEO Power Sheet Below
Incorporate this sheet into your weekly CEO meeting and make the little adjustments that will result in massive success!

The real reason I quit my Pilates business

Ok, I’ll come clean… back when I was running my Pilates business I didn’t know WHAT the heck I was doing. I had just left the corporate world and although I had a business degree, running a business was so foreign to me.

 

But I was determined to make it happen, so I did a LOT of stuff (totally wrong) and learned so many useful and valuable lessons but unfortunately not before I completely burned myself out!

 

So today I’ll share a few of the lessons I learned:

 

  1. I did it ALL myself

    I was teaching at 6 studios around town, trying to film DVDs (my husband did help me with this part), make YouTube Videos, do DIY courses to learn how to market myself, then try marketing myself, and still have a life. Most days I’d come back from my last evening classes thoroughly beat. All I’d want to do is stare at a brick wall and not talk to ANYONE, including my poor hubby! This behavior totally hindered my ability to scale my business.

  2. I had no boundaries

    Because Wall Street had taught me that the harder you worked, the more you made, I made that my business moto too! URM – Can you say “biggest mistake of my life?”

    HUGE! Massive mistake… this motto or belief made me take on ANY and all work at ANY time of day. Which means I almost had zero time off, no time for fun or friends… ALL I did was work, work, work…

    And I didn’t make nearly what I wanted to make! (And it made me unhappy and resentful!)

  3. I didn’t know what my unique advantage was

    Because I was so tired, and sooo busy there was zero time for reflection and market research to really understand WHY people loved coming to my Pilates classes in the first place. This perpetuated step two and left me completely lost as to who my ideal client was and what I could do to differentiate myself! I was working hard and not smart AT ALL!

  4.  I had zero business friends

    The only friends I had were other yoga and Pilates instructors, and people who worked in a corporate setting. ( I LOVE all my friends – they are wonderful people, don’t get me wrong.) But all of the above meant that I was making my brand stale because I was only looking at my industry and doing things the way that they were all doing it. That meant that all the advice, ideas, etc. came from people within the fitness industry. This held me back from thinking outside the box BIG TIME!

    Can you relate to any of these? Or do you have questions for me? Tell me in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

And if you feel like you’re making these mistakes too and you’re ready to transform from an overwhelmed, overworked, swamped one-woman show to a savvy CEO Leader of your company, then I’d LOVE to show you HOW next week at my:

Master Class:

Four Keys to Transform You From Overwhelmed One Woman Show to Savvy + Confident CEO

Wednesday, July 25 at 12 pm – 1:30 pm via Zoom

(Scroll down to learn more)

Do you often catch yourself saying things like I never have enough time, it’s so much work and one-day when my business does X then I’ll: spend more time with my family, go to the gym, take a vacation…

Running and scaling an efficient and profitable business that allows you to be rested and still do the things you love requires you to step into your CEO role.

In this master class, I’ll unlock the 4 secret keys that will move you from swamped and stuck donkey in your business to savvy female CEO with ease!

Sign up now!

Warrior: A story I’ve never shared so publicly

I contemplated writing this article for years. In part because I’ve never shared these incidents that I’m about to tell you so publicly… but I’ve decided it’s time to share this story… Perhaps it will be helpful to others who are going through trauma, maybe it will inspire others to stand up, say something and contribute to the much-needed conversation that needs to happen around these topics, and perhaps it will do none of the above. My story, however, needs to get out.

Please note that what I’m about to share are my experiences and opinions and I in no way want to offend or diminish the experiences that others have endured. Each person’s experience with this is unique and different. I’m merely sharing my story so that you may know, that if you’re going through or have gone through similar experiences – you are not alone. I see you woman (or man), and I hope my story will be of service to you and inspire you to tell yours too (if you wish to do so). I also want you to know that it’s taken me 15 years to share this so openly if you’re not ready – that’s ok, it’s ok to wait to share.

I was 21 when it happened. It also happened to coincide with the last day that I would ever take anti-depression medication. I’d been struggling with depression for a few years… but that’s a story for another day.

It was supposed to be a victorious day, I had finally been able to successfully wean myself off of anti-depressants without falling into depression again.

The night quickly took a horrid turn: date raped by a man whom I’d been seeing for a few months. At the time I didn’t know anyone who this had happened too. But after the event, I would learn about countless women and friends who had experienced this kind of trauma. All of them suffering in silence, until it happened to a friend and only then we’d share our stories. It was like some secret club that I definitely never wished to be part of…but yet, there I was.

It was like some secret club that I definitely never wished to be part of…but yet, there I was.

For years I only told a few friends, and new friends along the way never heard the story…

In the aftermath I had to write my own police statement as the officer assigned to my case wasn’t competent to do so – welcome to a third world country’s police force. There were many gynecological exams, I had to receive AIDS prevention treatment, and of course counseling.

Feeling violated, humiliated and utterly lost. The shame I felt was intensified because before the incident I was a virgin.

A friend offered up the wisest words, words that would stay with me forever.

“You didn’t give anything to him. He took it.”

To me, these words were so empowering. It helped me realized that I had a choice. It was a pivotal moment, understanding that I could shift from being the victim, stopping the prolonged suffering that often follows a traumatic experience like this.

I decided not to press charges, I was about to leave South Africa, and the last thing I wanted was to get caught up in a lengthy legal battle where I’d have to relive the entire horrible thing over and over again. Instead, I decided to confront my predator head on.

I decided to confront my predator head on.

I remember it being super sunny that morning when I went to his house, the same location where the nightmare had taken place. I felt safe being accompanied by a very kind detective who had taken over the case.

After the detective exchanged a few words with him and showed him the evidence against him, it was my turn. My counselor had coached me on what to say. It was simple: “You knew I didn’t want to do it. You had no right.” After delivering my bit, my rapist apologized and agreed to pay for all medical expenses, including counseling.

It was one of the most liberating mornings of my young adult life.

Looking back at it now, that younger version of me had so much courage. It was one of the most liberating mornings of my young adult life. And ultimately it was the action that set me free.

Although it took several years to truly let go of all of it, forgive, and not let it impact my relationships, my friends’ wise words always stuck with me. And the apology helped me to get tremendous closure which made moving on with my life easier.

Fast forward a few years to sexual harassment at work. There were multiple offenders and incidents. And this time it wasn’t so easy to confront the trespassers.

Why?

Because there was a stigma attached to women who flagged companies for this kind of behavior and I would lose more than my job, I’d lose my visa and thus my entire right to stay abroad.

I wasn’t ready to pack in my career.

I felt trapped and lost, there would be no other female broker mentors until later when it was too late, and my contempt for the industry had grown so large that there was no staying.

Finally, it all became too much, and I walked into the office on a cold day in February and confronted my manager. This time there were no apologies. Instead, I got shipped off to HR immediately.

When I reflect on these two very different experiences the following comes to mind:

You are not a victim, you are a warrior survivor:

As women, we empathize to a fault. We feel sorry to speak up and out because we don’t want to hurt others. We make disempowering statements like: “what did I do to deserve this?” or “it’s all my fault because…” We take on all the blame, shame, fault and make it all about us when in fact it’s got NOTHING to do with us.

I remember being in my counselor’s office feeling a whole slew of guilt for calling my rapist out on his misconduct. My counselor reminded me that that was playing the victim. I had a choice: to be a warrior or a victim. Warriors and survivors move on, become stronger and use that strength to rise. They know where their responsibility starts and ends.

Forgiveness and closure are key:

“We must forgive those who we feel wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice…. I will no longer beat myself up and abuse myself. I will no longer be the victim.” ~ The Four Agreements

Do whatever it is you need to do to get some closure. For me, in the first scenario, it was counseling, forgiving myself, and facing the culprit. In the second scenario, I had to forgive, and forgive, and forgive again.

Believe me, I was ANGRY for months (maybe even years!). But looking back at it, it was all a waste of my precious time and energy. Time and energy I could have spent building my new beautiful life.

There’s so much shame:

This one is perhaps the most difficult and daunting one. There’s so.much.shame. To this day, even as I’m writing this: I’m still a little ashamed of what happened to me that night 15 years ago, and even the sexual harassment at work. I should have known better, I shouldn’t have had that last drink, I shouldn’t have gone back to his house… that’s one side of it, and on the other hand, the fear of being judged: “What will people think of me when they know this about me?”

For the longest time, this thinking caused havoc in my relationships. I was suffocating myself and any new romantic connection with my own judgment.

In the end, the thing that saved me and I kept coming back too was my girlfriend’s words: “you didn’t give anything to him – he took it…” Over time this sentence allowed me to detach from the experience, not let it define me. I could let it be something that happened TO me. I could let it go. It made me stronger, more resilient, and although the road from that day to what I do today isn’t one straight shot – I do believe that that moment was one of the defining moments that inspired my purpose: to empower other women to stand up and take control of their lives, careers, and businesses.

Thank you to all the other women out there who have shared your stories. Your courage gave me the strength to share mine.

 

Letting Go Of Should: How to Get What You Really Want! w/ guest Amy Young

I’m so freaking excited for today’s Savvy Business Show with my gal, Amy Young – life and female empowerment coach to single women all around the world. (She was also a comedian in her past life!)

In today’s session we’re going to discuss all the ways the word “should” limit us and keeps us from the life we want. We’ll also give a few tangible strategies to help you let go of “should” and create a life we really want!

 
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Amy and I’d love to hear your questions and comments about our conversation, please let us know in the comments below:
Do you struggle with this?
What are your strategies for letting go of should?
What was the most valuable tip/aha for you today?

 

Amy Young headshot 2Amy Young is a life coach who serves up truth and bodacious empowerment to all the single ladies. Along with her hard-hitting (but hilarious) YouTube videos, Amy just wrapped season one of her podcast, “Just What You Needed” where she provided episodic, empathic solutions to many of the everyday struggles we all fall victim to. Within her coaching practice Amy assists single women all over the world who are ready to stop settling, and get the love they really want. Learn more at www.amyyoungcoaching.com.

 

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