“There are only 3 people who should know exactly how crazy you are.” Is what a friend told me recently. My friend is so right!
These 3 lucky winners are:
1) Your Mom,
2) Your Best Friend,
3) Your partner/husband.
For the rest of the world you have to do your best to pull it together! Sure – we all have our moments:
– Tantrums where we kick and scream like a 3 year old because someone got something we wanted.
– Our over the top meltdown because something didn’t go the way we wanted it too.
But think about it, when have you ever felt amazing about yourself when you:
– sent a totally out of line and nasty text to someone?
– started playing the comparing game with someone on facebook. This resulted in some obsessive behavior, which led to you leaving a ridiculous message on that someone’s feed.
Urm like NEVER. Normally you just feel utterly stupid and foolish for overreacting.
The key is to give your crazy a little play time, before it jumps out and cause drama. Don’t keep it in or try to suppress it. Simply let your crazy be.
Ah, let’s tweet that: Don’t suppress your crazy, just let your crazy be
2) Talk about what’s bugging you with your mom, your best friend or your partner. Even if you think what’s bugging you is ridiculous and silly. The people who love you will understand and help you get over it.
3) Do some Yoga!
Focus on living a life where you are acting on what happens to you, rather than reacting and defending against it.
It all starts off nice and romantic and your significant other can do no wrong. The person is simply perfect. Fast forward a couple of years and all of a sudden you may be experiencing some serious problems with your partner’s behavior. Out of nowhere, you feel like there are a million little things you want to change.
STOP. Turn that finger right back at yourself. More often than not, when I’ve gone to this “I’m annoyed with my partner, so let’s pick him apart” stage, I almost always have had some insecurities of my own to address. I would be unhappy with my own behavior or how I handled a situation, or be frustrated with myself for not achieving goals I had set. That’s when it’s so easy to focus on your partner’s quirks.
Becoming aware of this projection of my own frustrations onto my partner has helped me be less harsh and more loving toward him – especially when I am not performing at my best and actually need to lean on him.
As my good friend Benjamin Degenhardt, and fellow Pilates instructor says: “When you’re moving from your authentic self and a place of good intention while allowing others to be themselves, things flow in perfect harmony.”
My grandpa used to say, “Live and let others live.” I’d like to combine Benjamin and my granddad’s sayings to make one of my own: “Be yourself and let others be themselves.”
In today’s Action Steps, there are a few ways to help you do that by focusing on the positive.
1) What qualities about your partner do you enjoy and love?
2) What do you adore about your relationship?
3) What is going on in your own life that’s making you so critical right now?
4) Is the behavior that’s annoying you new?
5) Can you talk to your partner and tell him or her what’s going on with you?
Remember: Communication is always key to building a strong and lasting relationship. Your partner should be your best friend whom you can share anything with, even the stuff that’s tough to admit.
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