It could be asking for a raise at your job. Or being very honest about something in your relationship or having to tell a friend something that might be disappointing. Perhaps you need to say something and stand up for what you believe in. One thing is certain: At some point, we all have to have that dreaded conversation with someone.
And more often than not we either put it off or never work up the nerve to do it. In my personal experience, this only leads to things getting worse. It has led to many sleepless nights, frustration, and anger. In the worst cases, relationships can be destroyed.
When I have pushed myself to have those conversations and got it all off my chest, I felt so much better and lighter. Getting to that point, though, was tough. The conversations were still uncomfortable, but almost every single time the payoff was so worth it.
In today’s Action Steps, let’s focus on a few tips to help you prep for the “dreaded conversation”:
1) Be crystal clear on what, exactly, you want or need to say. Write it all down, get it out on paper.
2) Imagine yourself having the conversation. What will you say? How can you express yourself without offending the other person? How do you expect that person to respond? This little visual will help you feel more prepared and help you stay on point during the actual conversation.
3) Give yourself a deadline. Scheduling this like a meeting will help you stick to it.
4) Stick to your guns and listen. When having the discussion, make sure you stay focused. Don’t let the other person’s response distract or lead you off course. Make sure you listen deeply to them.
Although you can never be sure what the outcome of the talk will be, one thing is clear: You have to be honest with yourself, stay true to your values, and just take the chance. You might even be pleasantly surprised!
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